Project Management Tool - Ignorance generator

Ignorance generator Project managers must be experts at providing a seemingly plausable excuse to any question at any time. It is the art of lying through one's teeth. Practice in front of the mirror saying ' this project will finish on time' without sniggering, giggling or bursting into laughter. Look to any president of the USA for role models and to the avoidance techniques of any British politician when faced by a direct question. Maintain a list of ready excuses: e.g: the project is running late I wasn't there when that happened...or It was her job. (see Scapegoat management(SM)). the project is running over budget I wasn't there when that happened..or It was her job...or Are you talking about real money or ECU's? project management is incompetent despite constant attention from me, it is the fault of everyone else, especially her and did you know she said that you were a brainless moron who has need of underpants bearing 'left' and 'right' identiification symbols to enable you to put them on correctly.